GUESS WHO'S BACK MOTHERFUCKERS.
THAT'S RIGHT IT'S YA BOY CHRIS J, AKA THE UNIDENTIFIED BLACK MALE. BEEN A MINUTE SINCE I'VE POSTED HERE, OR ANYWHERE FOR THAT MATTER, SINCE I SPENT FIVE YEARS IN SAN QUENTIN ON A BULLSHIT DISTRIBUTION CHARGE (FUCK YOU OFFICER RAMSEY). SO IF ANYONE CAN UPDATE ME ON THE RAIDERS PAST SIX SEASON AND LET ME KNOW IF JACOBY FORD IS STILL DROPPING PASSES THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
ANYWAY, I THOUGHT I'D CELEBRATE MY RELEASE BY DROPPING SOME CERTIFIED NCAA TOURNEY KNOWLEDGE ON YOU NIGGAS. NOW UNTIL LAST WEEKEND I HADN'T WATCHED A COLLEGE BASKETBALL GAME SINCE FEBRUARY 2009, SO I'M ONLY MORE QUALIFIED THAN 97% OF THE PEOPLE SHOUTING AT YOU ON ESPN. BUT FUCK IT, LET'S DO IT.
MIDWEST REGION
I LIKE KENTUCKY TO COME OUT OF THIS REGION, ESPECIALLY SINCE I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT BILLY GILLESPIE IS NO LONGER THEIR COACH. GODDAMN THAT NIGGA WAS DUMB AS HELL. THIS CURRENT UK TEAM LOOKS LEGIT THOUGH, AND I CAN'T SEE ANYWAY ONE IN THIS REGION UPSETTING THEM. THEY ALSO HAVE ONE OF THE DUMBEST LOOKING NIGGAS IN THE COUNTRY ON THEIR TEAM, AKA WILLIE CAULEY-STEIN, SO IT'S HARD NOT TO ROOT FOR THEM. OTHER GOOD TEAMS IN THIS REGION ARE MARYLAND AND NOTRE DAME, WHO ARE MY PICKS TO LOSE TO KENTUCKY IN THE SWEET SIXTEEN AND ELITE EIGHT. FUCK BILL SELF AND FUCK KANSAS.
SLEEPERS
MY TWO SLEEPERS IN THIS REGION ARE BUFFALO AND WICHITA STATE. I LIKE BUFFALO BECAUSE WEST VIRGINIA IS FUCKING TERRIBLE AND MARYLAND IS STILL SUFFERING FROM GARY WILLIAMS' STRONG RECRUITING TAKES. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK A WICHITA STATE IS BUT I'M TOLD THAT THEY WERE A ONE SEED LAST YEAR SO THEY SHOULD HAVE SOME TALENT, AND THEY GET THE LUXURY OF PLAYING AGAINST BILL SELF'S LATEST GROUP OF UNDERACHIEVERS IN THE SECOND ROUND. IF TEXAS FIRES RICK BARNES THEY COULD ALSO BE CONSIDERED A SLEEPR AS AN ELEVEN SEED.
WEST REGION
OUT OF THIS REGION I LIKE ARIZONA TO WIN IT ALL. FUCKING LUTE OLSON MAN, IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN'T DO. THEY HAVE A CAKEWALK TO THE ELITE EIGHT, WITH THEIR ONLY SERIOUS THREAT BEING OHIO STATE BECAUSE THEY HAVE SOME NIGGA NAMED D'ANGELO "WHERE'S WALLACE" RUSSELL. THAT'S A REAL NIGGA NAME RIGHT THERE. BUT OHIO STATE WILL PROBABLY LOSE TO FUCKING VCU IN THE FIRST ROUND ANYWAY, SO JUST PENCIL ZONA INTO THE FINAL FOUR. ANOTHER TEAMS TO WATCH IN THIS REGION ARE WISCONSIN, BUT NOT LITERALLY SINCE THEIR ENTIRE TEAM IS FULL OF PASTY WHITE GUYS WHO CONSIDER WHO CONSIDER A 48-47 GAME TO BE "A BARNBURNER". NORTH CAROLINA IS ALWAYS A THREAT TO WIN IT ALL ON PAPER, BUT MUCH LIKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR ATHLETES I DON'T DO PAPERS. BAYLOR HAS TALL PEOPLE AND IS JUST A DUMB ENOUGH SCHOOL TO MAKE A MIRACLE RUN.
SLEEPERS
MY NUMBER ONE SLEEPER IN THIS REGION IS GEORGIA FUCKING STATE. I'M SURE MY NIGGA BIG BEN IS GONNA BE WATCHING THIS ONE. I LIKE THEM TO PULL THE 3/14 UPSET OVER BAYLOR IN THE FIRST ROUND AND THEN BEAT THE WINNER OF OLE MISS/XAVIER, ONLY TO SUCCUMB TO THOSE NIGGAS FROM TUCSON. ANOTHER SLEEPER HERE IS WOFFORD, MAINLY BECAUSE ARKANSAS SUCKS AND I USED TO HAVE A COKE CONNECT IN SPARTANBURG. REAL SHIT.
EAST REGION
JESUS CHRIST THIS REGION IS TRASH. I GUESS I GOTTA GO WITH VILLANOVA HERE. JAY WRIGHT THA GOD. I ASSUME THEY STILL ROLL OUT FOUR POINT GUARD STARTING LINEUPS AND SOMEHOW WIN 30 FUCKING GAMES BY DOING SO. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER SCOTTIE REYNOLDS? SUCH A TYPICAL DMV NIGGA. ANOTHER TEAM TO WATCH HERE IS UVA. HONESTLY KIND OF SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T FORCE THEIR WAY INTO A #1 SEED, WHAT WITH THEIR UNIVERSITY-WIDE VIEWS ON SEXUAL ASSAULT. THAT'S RIGHT, YA BOY MAY BE A THUG BUT I DON'T FUCK WITH NIGGAS WHO FUCK WITH GIRLS WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. THAT'S WHY I DON'T FUCK WITH JAMEIS WINSTON, ALONG WITH THE FACT THAT HE'S LEGALLY RETARDED. FUCK ANTHONY GILL.
SLEEPERS
THE SLEEPER IN THIS REGION IS 5 SEED NORTHERN IOWA. A FIVE SEED ISN'T EXACTLY A LOWER RANKED TEAM, BUT THEY'RE A SLEEPER BECAUSE THEY HAVE A GREAT SHOT AT MAKING IT TO THE FINAL FOUR IF THEY CAN OVERCOME NOVA IN THE SWEET SIXTEEN. FOR A MORE TRADITIONAL SLEEPER, GO WITH ALBANY. OKLAHOMA IS TRASH SO THEY COULD EASILY PULL OFF THE UPSET. SHOUT OUTS TO THE GREAT DANES.
SOUTH REGION
THE TEAM COMING OUT OF THIS REGION WILL BE GONZAGA. IF YOU'RE A TEAM IN THIS REGION, YOU SHOULD BE AS SCARED OF GONZAGA AS ADAM MORRISON IS OF SUGAR. THEY'RE FAST, THEY'RE TALL, AND THEY'RE FULL OF SCRAPPY WHITE GUYS THAT YOU WILL LEARN TO HATE BY THE END OF THE FIRST WEEKEND. SPEAKING OF WHICH, IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS THAT DUKE GOT A 1 SEED. THIS FUCKING COUNTRY. COACH K COULD SHOOT UP AN ORPHANAGE AND ESPN COMMENTATORS WOULD STILL TALK ABOUT HOW CLASSY HE IS. IT'S REALLY FUCKING HARD TO BE THE MOST HATED PERSON IN THE RESEARCH TRIANGLE WHEN ROY WILLIAMS IS RIGHT THERE, BUT HERE WE ARE. DUKE WILL NOT MAKE IT OUT OF THE SWEET SIXTEEN. THE ONLY OTHER THREATS IN THIS REGION BESIDES GONZAGA ARE IOWA STATE BECAUSE OF THEIR FAST PACED OFFENSE AND MY SLEEPER, UTAH.
SLEEPERS
AS I MENTIONED ABOVE, I HAVE UTAH AS A SLEEPER IN THIS REGION. THEY WILL MAKE IT TO THE ELITE EIGHT, I GUARANTEE IT. THE LEGACY OF KEITH VAN HORN AND ANDRE MILLER WILL NEVER DIE. I LIKE THEIR PATH, AS THEY HAVE A SLEW OF CUPCAKES ON THEIR WAY TO THE ELITE EIGHT IN STEPHEN F. AUSTIN, THE WINNER OF GEORGETOWN/EASTERN WASHINGTON, AND DUKE OR WHOEVER BEATS DUKE IN THE SECOND ROUND. MY OTHER SLEEPER IS EASTERN WASHINGTON, NOT BECAUSE I THINK THEY'LL GET OUT OF THE SECOND ROUND, BUT BECAUSE THEY GOT THE BEST FIRST ROUND DRAW IN THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT BY GETTING GEORGETOWN. YOU COULD SWITCH THE PLAYERS ON GEORGETOWN AND KENTUCKY, WHILE ALSO SWITCHING THE PLAYERS ON EASTERN WASHINGTON AND YOUR LOCAL BRIDGE SCHOOL'S BASKETBALL TEAM AND I WOULD STILL PICK IT THIS WAY. GEORGETOWN IS PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF BEATING A DOUBLE DIGIT SEED NO MATTER WHO IS ON THEIR ROSTER. IF THEY WERE SMART THEN THEY WOULD INTENTIONALLY TANK TO GET THEMSELVES A DOUBLE DIGIT SEED, ENSURING THAT THEY WOULD NOT MEET UP WITH ANY OTHER DOUBLE DIGIT SEEDS UNTIL THE SECOND ROUND.
FINAL FOUR
IN THE FINAL FOUR I HAVE KENTUCKY OVER ARIZONA AND VILLANOVA OVER GONZAGA, WITH KENTUCKY BEATING VILLANOVA BY 15+ IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP. THE SCORE SHOULD BE AROUND 87-71, OR 158 TOTAL POINTS FOR YOU UNEDUCATED NIGGAS. I THINK THE NOVA/ZAGA GAME WILL BE A CLOSE ONE THOUGH, SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF IT'S GONZAGA WHO GETS THE PLEASURE OF LOSING TO UK INSTEAD OF VILLANOVA.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. MY 2015 NCAA TOURNAMENT PREVIEW. FUCK WITH YA BOY AND CUT ME IN ON ANY PROFITS YOU EARN AS A RESULT OF TAKING MY ADVICE HERE. UNTIL NEXT TIME, I'M CHRIS MOTHERFUCKIN' JACKSON AND THIS HAS BEEN YOUR VIEW FROM THE STREETS.
(image from NBC Sports)
